Hope

have a peek at this web-site Sometimes I catch myself minimizing the value of such a precious word.
Hope.
Think about it…Hope expresses so much. Excitement. Security. Protection. Longing. Contentment. Salvation…

Today, I realize that hope is what drives me. Not just in our fostering and adoption journey but in all aspects of my life. I stake so much on hope. I hope the kids behave, I hope my husband has a safe commute to work and a productive workday, I hope the direct deposit is in the bank. I hope I have the energy to accomplish what needs to be done, I hope my kids see a glimpse of Jesus in me, I hope I can figure out what to fix for dinner…

However, Hope is so much more than a rhetorical statement. I often casually wish hope on someone as I say “I hope you feel better” or “I hope you have a good day. Yes, I do hope these things, but I often forget why I’m hopeful. I forget the reason that hope has been written on my heart.

As I think about “hope”, I remember a year ago as I was looking forward to a court hearing. The decision I was hoping for could have been the beginning of the end of our 3rd adoption experience. As it turned out, as it did so often, court was continued, and my hope was put on hold. I was hoping for good news. That day, It did not come, and hope, as I perceived it, was clouded just a bit.

Often, hope is like a long time friend…The friend that has known you forever, yet life gets in the way and time marches on. The kind of friend that can call on Wednesday afternoon, as she waits in the carpool line, just to catch up. The one friend that doesn’t remember how long it’s been since you called, but leads the conversation as though you saw each other yesterday. That’s what I love about hope. Faithful…even when I’m not.

Sometimes hope is unrecognizable. Sometimes days turn into weeks as hope lingers behind forgotten promises that have been shadowed by the mundane. The everyday process of winning and losing, clouds the shiny surface of hope and discouragement and self pity darkens the once hopeful heart. Hope waits patiently to be remembered as the day-to-day turns to week-to-week.
Hope. Never. Left. I did.

Eventually the reflection of Hope is seen through the mist as a patient friend takes my hand as I steady my feet on the promises that have never left; the unfailing promise of hope.

Hope; the author of excitement, security, protection, longing, contentment and salvation, has delivered once again. Good news has come! The haziness of doubt and anxiety is no match for the clarity and truthfulness of hope, and my wandering heart clings, once again, to its promises. Hope wins, and because of this victory, so do I!

“My Hope is Built on Nothing Less”
by Edward Mote, 1797-1874

1. My hope is built on nothing less
Than Jesus’ blood and righteousness;
I dare not trust the sweetest frame,
But wholly lean on Jesus’ name.
On Christ, the solid Rock, I stand;
All other ground is sinking sand.

2. When darkness veils His lovely face,
I rest on His unchanging grace;
In every high and stormy gale
My anchor holds within the veil.
On Christ, the solid Rock, I stand;
All other ground is sinking sand.

3. His oath, His covenant, and blood
Support me in the whelming flood;
When every earthly prop gives way,
He then is all my Hope and Stay.
On Christ, the solid Rock, I stand;
All other ground is sinking sand.

4. When He shall come with trumpet sound,
Oh, may I then in Him be found,
Clothed in His righteousness alone,
Faultless to stand before the throne!
On Christ, the solid Rock, I stand;
All other ground is sinking sand.

Hymn #370
The Lutheran Hymnal
Text: 1 Timothy 1:1
Author: Edward Mote, c. 1834, cento
Composer: John Stainer, 1873, arr.
Tune: “Magdalen”

Monkey Socks and I’m So Very Sad For You

I’m not sure why it has taken my emotions so long to catch up with my adoption experiences. For years I have been numb toward each of you…maybe even angry and resentful at times. Your selfish choices have doubled my family. Three precious gifts once belonged to three different mothers. Now they are mine.

For five years, I have fed, clothed, hugged, kissed, rocked and snuggled the one you carried under your heart.

For five blinks of an eye, I comforted each of them in the hospital. I’ve changed your sick baby’s diapers, untangled his oxygen lines, and unclogged and reinserted his feeding tube.

I’ve held your little one convulsing with a seizure, only to have him go limp and lifeless in my arms.

I’ve potty trained your OCD toddler and yours that could not care less if he wore “big boy” pants.

I’ve kissed his boo boos and calmed his night terrors.

I’ve answered his endless questions and brushed his tiny teeth.

I’ve witnessed his first step and heard his first word.

I’ve celebrated Christmas, Easter, and birthdays that should have been spent with you.

I’ve wrung my hands in court rooms, waiting. Waiting to hear the judge say “enough is enough.”

I’ve sat behind you in those courtrooms and memorized your profile…the one that I see everyday in a beautiful little boy.

From the very beginning, even when he was not mine, I loved him like he was.

So why is it today that the tears fall so easily? How could monkey socks turn my thought toward you? Why is it that a sweet voice saying “I’ll see YOU tomorrow” causes me to grieve for you?

Through the years I have thought of each of you, but never like today. Today my heart aches for you. Today, my tears fall because you will never know him like I do. Today, I’m so very sad for you. Today, I choose not to judge you or ask how you could choose yourself over him. Today, like yesterday, I will love him without limit as I wiggle chubby feet into monkey socks and whisper a prayer for you.

Today, I’m so very sad for you.